A Woman Worthy of Honor
“Would you be willing to live in a dung hut in Africa?”
Those words were a portion of my marriage proposal to Susan when we were a mere 18 years old. I didn’t know a lot back then, but I was convinced of two things. First, the Lord had called me to set aside my dreams of becoming a wealthy, successful engineer and serve Him in the ministry of the Gospel. Second, I was in love with Susan Marie Haight and I wanted to spend the rest of my life with her.
Committed to His Call
I’d already submitted my life to follow Christ into ministry. I just didn’t know what all that meant. At the time, I could only imagine the most profound of sacrifices. Maybe I was to put on a camel skin coat and go off into the desert. I was sincere, but also quite naïve.
I also knew that I needed my marriage partner to have the same kind of commitment to Christ. Susan said, “Yes” to me and in doing so she said “yes” to wherever the Lord may lead us as a family. The Lord has never called us to move to Africa. He has however called us to sacrifice other dreams and some of this world’s extravagances that we might have otherwise experienced.
“Who can find a wife of noble character?”
In particular, Susan has often sacrificed her time, dreams, and desires so she could support and encourage me in the ministries to which the Lord has led. She sacrificed many hours caring for our girls when I was busy doing two jobs: pastoring a church and managing a growing computer network in May, TX. She often was “stuck” wrangling all four girls while I filmed a football game from the top of the press box or ran the game clock in the gym.
Moving to the Big City
Susan also gave up much when the Lord called us away from our rural ministry to come to the “big city.” She left behind many wonderful friends and a job she had worked hard for at May ISD. She said goodbye to the few acres that allowed her to have some goats, chicken, and a donkey (if you know her, you certainly understand this as a great sacrifice). We left behind nearly 14 years of memories of our daughter Katie who laughed, loved, struggled, and was buried in May just down the hill from our home.
“The Heart of Her Husband Trusts in Her”
Susan loves and cares for every person who the Lord brings across her path. I count myself blessed to be the one with whom she chose to walk most intimately. I get to see her at her very best and worst (if you can accept it, Susan’s very worst likely rivals many of our best). There have been many days where she must “put up with” a husband who forgets what a blessing she is. Other days, she simply provides the shoulder upon which I can weep after a difficult chaplain call or a tough day at the funeral home.
As I near the 20 year mark of pastoral ministry at First Baptist Watauga (more than 35 overall), I pause to consider my most precious gift from the Lord on this Lover’s holiday. It was nearly 39 years ago that Susan agreed to lay down her dreams to serve the Lord alongside me wherever the Lord may lead. She has always been faithful to His call, her family, and me.
Today, I am grateful.
“Her children rise up and call her blessed; her husband also praises her: “Many women have done noble deeds, but you surpass them all! Charm is deceptive and beauty is fleeting, but a woman who fears the Lordwill be praised.” – Prov. 31:28-30
Katie quickly fell in love with Rosie and they became best friends. During long hours on home dialysis, Rosie was always a faithful companion. She tolerated Mickey Mouse ears and doll dresses. She was a mixture of high energy when chasing a ball and calm comfort to her master. Rosie would sit with Katie, play with Katie, and sleep with Katie. She’s the first dog I ever let live in the house.
Susan and I simply prayed the Lord would take care of us as He has so many other times in our lives. We prayed that when it was time, she would pass easily. We prayed that we wouldn’t have to make the decision to put her down. We also prayed that the girls wouldn’t be left to deal with Rosie’s passing when we were gone.
When Katie passed almost 15 years ago, we had Katie’s two favorite images etched on her stone – a panda bear and Rosie. We arrived right at sunset. The Lord had softened the ground by weeks of spring rains. It only took a few minutes and Rosie was laid to rest under her image near Katie’s body. As the sun set on June 3rd, another chapter in our lives was closed.
Throughout this chapter, we found more gentle reminders that the Lord is with us. The book is not finished on Katie’s impact on this world. The Lord is still using her life and memory to teach us and touch others. I am grateful for the Lord’s gentle reminders in large and small ways that He is with us and He loves us. His grace is enough. His timing is perfect. When the sun sets on my life, I’m confident He will be there still guiding and providing.