Tag: Suffering

Life’s Unwanted Detours

Life’s Unwanted Detours

On the first 4700 miles of a 14k+ trip, Susan and I have faced several unwanted detours. These redirections have come in many ways, and each have had interesting outcomes. Though we may get frustrated, especially when the detour is caused by our own failure, we are continuing to learn the true meaning behind one of the most miss used passages of scripture. We are confident that, “We know that all things work together for the good of those who love God, who are called according to his purpose.” (Romans 8:28)

Before I go any further, let me remind you of a couple truths from this text that are often ignored when it is quoted. First, the text does not teach that all things that happen to us are good. Certainly, rotten stuff comes our way. Sometimes, we face pain because of someone else’s sin. Sometimes, our pain is caused by our own sin or simple mistakes. Other times, we face pain and suffering simply due to circumstances that come from living in a fallen world.  What may be the most challenging for a believer is that sometimes our Heavenly Father not only allows but plans and orchestrates things that cause us to suffer  to discipline us and mature our faith (1 Peter 1, Heb. 12:3-6). Jesus assured His disciples that “in this world you will have trouble.” (John 6:33)

Second, Romans 8:28 does not promise that all things work together for good for everybody! The text is a promise made specifically to believers who meet two criteria. They must be His kids (called according to his purpose). And, they are actively pursuing a relationship with Him (those who love God). Susan and I can have confidence in God’s plan and purpose for us even in the unwanted detours of life because we know that we are His and we are seeking to follow His will because of our love for Him.

In just the past week, we have been challenged with at least four different types of challenging detours. Each could have cause great frustration and anxiety. In all but one case, we found that by keeping our focus on our Lord we have been able to walk in the peace and joy that only He provides. [I’ll confess that when the detour was caused by my own stupidity that I got frustrated for a short while.] Additionally, in EVERY case, the Lord has provided something through the detour that worked out much better for us than our original plan.

The Planned Detour 

Our plan included leaving Johnston Campground in Banff National Park on Monday morning and driving up through Jasper National Park. I’ve told many people that I believe this is the most beautiful and awe-inspiring stretch of road that we have every traveled – and we’ve travelled much of all 50 states and several Canadian provinces. Leaving Jasper, we planned to head North to the beginning of the famous Alaskan Highway beginning at Dawson Creek and travel the length of the ALCAN through Whitehorse, Yukon.

However, in Glacier National Park, we began to encounter a lot of smoke. Upon investigation, I learned that almost 100 wildfires were out of control in NE British Columbia. Those fires would be right along our route. Not wanting to deal with the smoke, we planned an unwanted detour to travel west from Jasper and get “behind” the fires. This would be a detour of several hundred miles but only added about 40 miles to our trip. 

Though we planned the detour, the short notice ended up causing some frustration that I’ll detail later. Besides, we’d miss a few of the iconic mile markers along the first few hundred miles of the Alaskan Highway. In spite of our frustrations, this unwanted detour took us to some incredible places that we’d have otherwised missed. We saw a lot of wildlife and enjoyed the scenery so much that we plan to retrace some of those miles on the way back down to the states. Along the way the Lord provided people and experiences that really blessed us each day.

Unplanned Detour – Caused by Me

This unwanted detour was caused by my mistake. After getting over the mountains west of Jasper, I began trying to plan for where we would camp that evening. We stopped off at the visitor center at the Mount Robson Provincial Park to get some information. It had a beautiful view and a lot of good information, but the service was a bit lacking and caused a little frustration.

I picked a couple providential park campgrounds that would be about the correct distance for our travel that day. I was using a booklet provided by the parks system that had a small inset map of each region. I picked a park that looked right along our route, headed NW out of Prince George. This is where I made my mistake! After traveling over 30 miles toward that campground, we got stopped in a construction zone. As I sat there, I reviewed my travel plan on the “big map” and found that I was going the WRONG WAY!

In fact, the way we were headed would take us directly back to the area of the fires near Dawson Creek. We had learned that smoke was no longer the only problem. The highway had been shut down in two locations with over 200 miles of highway closed. We had no other choice except to continue through the construction, get back in line, and travel back through the construction and back to Prince George. By now, we were tired and realized that my mistake had taken us over 60 miles out of the way with a two-hour delay.

By the end of the evening, we eventually found a campsite along the correct route. The Lord blessed us with one of the only sites left in the area. A fellow traveler from Texas met us in the campsite and help us find the spot! It was a beautiful site and provided just the rest we needed.

Unplanned Detour – Not Caused by Me 

Though this unplanned detour was caused by my mistake, some detours in my life have been created by other means. The birth, suffering, and death of our first-born daughter is one example of this kind of detour in our life. Though we were earnestly seeking the Lord, we ended up facing years of painful challenges. I started to write that they eventually ended at Katie’s graveside, but that would not be true. Though those years hold many great memories, they also created many scars. Even today, we periodically feel the sting of Katie’s suffering and her passing.

Leaving our campsite this morning, I knew I needed to get gas soon. The first two places we came to that were supposed to have fuel were closed. Such is the challenge of traveling in remote places. The problem was that I had planned on one of these two being open and we were about to be in trouble. Instead of panic, we prayed. There was one more place on the map that we hoped would have enough fuel to reach. If we took it easy on the accelerator, we might just make it. Our “Distance to Empty” indicator was showing under 20 miles when we pulled up to the above ground fuel tanks.

This wasn’t where we hoped to fill up and it wasn’t what we had hoped to pay for fuel. However, on this unwanted detour, the Lord provided again. While I was filling my tank, a young trucker walked up and told me about a wreck that had just happened a few miles down the road. He said that it could take hours to clear. He gave me some great advice on getting around the wreck that probably saved us at least an hour. The Lord worked through this unwanted detour to save us hours. If that wreck had been before the fuel pumps, well that would be a different story.

When I think of these kinds of unwanted detours, I can’t help but remember the life of Joseph in Genesis. He experienced several unwanted detours after the Lord gave him a great vision. From the pit, to a mansion, to prison, to the palace, none of the detours were a part of his plan, but they certainly were used for his good, for his family’s salvation, and for God’s greater purpose for mankind. 

Helpful Detour – Following Good Advice

The providential encounter with this trucker also provided and answer to a prayer that we had been lifting up the past few days. We were struggling with whether to include a trip all the way to the Artic Ocean that would include pulling our trailer over 1080 miles of gravel road. I love the idea of the challenge, but the main reason to go beyond a certain point would be just to be able to say that we had been there. Susan and I had been trying to decide and just were uncertain.

While visiting with the afore mentioned trucker, he told me he was from Tuk –the small indigenous village at the end of the road on the Artic Ocean. When I told him we would be camping on the Dempster Highway at the Tombstone Mountains, he answered our prayer. He let us know that the road was in worse shape than usual. There was planned construction this summer to deal with its conditions. He said the best part of the trip was the Tombstone Mountains and a certain distance beyond. Once you pass that area, the scenery just wasn’t worth it. He recommended we camp at Tombstone Provincial Park and leave our trailer there. We could then drive a couple hours beyond the park and enjoy the best of the road without the stress. This was already something I had specifically considered and prayed about.

Just a few hours later, the Lord intervened with another individual to meet our needs. When closing our trailer earlier this week, it became evident that a key component of our camper would not last the whole trip. I needed to repair a bracket that would require an experienced welder or metal fabricator. My backup plan was a fix I could do myself, but I was uncertain of its effectiveness. 

After leaving the trucker and making the detour he suggested, I found a welding shop that I had a peace about. He looked at my bracket and said he was willing but was unsure that he could do what I needed without removing the bracket from the trailer and I know that would be a long task and practically impossible with our schedules. When I told him my “plan b,” he said that was a great idea. He felt that would hold better than a weld on the thin metal. A few miles down the road, as I stopped in a big parking lot to take care of it, I found a couple other issues that I hadn’t seen. By me doing the repairs on my own, I was saved a LOT of issues that were on the near horizon. 

The Lord used two unwanted detours to work things out “for our good.” He provided great advice from a providential meeting with the trucker that came from one unwanted detour to provide an answer to prayer – a detour that would come from following the trucker’s advice. I am certain the Lord orchestrated these unwanted circumstances to provide the advice needed for tomorrow’s detour. As long as I take the advice, I’m certain we’ll find the “good things” God has for us down the road the next few days.

Trusting the Lord in the Detours

Every unwanted detour can be frustrating. Many can be downright painful. When we are faced with unwanted detours, whether we have a say in them or not, we have a couple directions we can take. We can get anxious, panic, get made at God, blame the cause of the detour, or blame others for our mistake (or sin) that caused the detour. If we take this route, we will never find peace and will be regularly frustrated throughout our journey on this earth. 

There is another route we can take. When faced with life’s unwanted detours we can take them to the Lord in prayer. We can turn to His Word for guidance. Scripture is filled with men and women who faced unwanted detours – some trusted God and some didn’t. Consider Job’s unfair life of suffering. Take a look at how David responded to the spear chunking of King Saul. Maybe even revisit the story of Joseph and see how God took horrible circumstances and used them for His glory.

This evening, I am grateful for the detours. The unwanted detours have provided new experiences. We’ve found new friends. We’ve learned a little more about ourselves and we’ve learned to lean on the Lord.

I think I’ll take the truckers advice. He knows the territory and he has been where we want to go. He knows the dangers and the beautiful blessings of the land. I also think I’ll continue to trust in the Lord, His word, and the guidance of the Holy Spirit. He’s been there. He knows the terrain of the blessings and even the sufferings. When life brings us to a detour, I’m certain that it will result in our good and His purposes – whether we initially like the detour or not.

Who Pastors the Pastor?

Who Pastors the Pastor?

While serving as the pastor of a rural Texas church, this author stood over the bedside while my fourteen-year-old daughter took her last breaths. With a broken heart and my wife by my side, I had confidence and faith in the power of God to carry me through this dark valley. I had stood by many men and women as their pastor in similar, painful circumstances. A hospital chaplain, whom I had never met, stood behind us. He provided his presence and a reading from Scripture that I requested.

Pastoring with a Broken Heart

I was hurting and had a great task before me that would begin with delivering this news to my other three daughters. I was the pastor, but now I needed a pastor. Who could provide that comfort and care to the one who was accustomed to caring for his flock? As a part of the body of Christ, every pastor in his humanity will one day find himself in need of pastoral care.  

Paul Found Comfort in Friends

Neither Paul nor the men who served with him were without fault. Paul’s associates sometimes failed him. Apparently, Paul fell short as his temper was on display in his relationship with Peter, Barnabas, and Mark. This serves as a reminder as well that these were imperfect men. Facing great odds, they were empowered by the Spirit of God to accomplish a great task. In these details of their relationships, we find men who needed each other. They were buoyed by companionship as they suffered together, encouraged each other, and stepped up to provide aid to each other for personal and ministry reasons. 

A Community of Encouragement

This author has found similar strength to remain faithful to the calling of God from other pastors. When faced with the intense grief of losing a daughter after a long illness, I was encouraged and lifted up by the companionship of other ministers. The congregation rendered similar encouragement and aid. The denomination stepped in to help share some of the financial burden. The most important source of strength came from the indwelling presence of the Holy Spirit.  

Fellow Pastors Lift the Burden

A crucial part of my healing and ability to stand tall as a father and pastor was rooted in the companionship, encouragement, and aid of fellow ministers. These relationships were forged in ministry years before my daughter’s passing. The encouragement sometimes took the form of direct admonitions to do the tough things required in tough times. There is a special bond that is rooted in the shared connection as ministers of the Gospel.

This one personal incident serves only to illustrate a greater need. The heavy burden may come from the daily responsibilities of ministry, a difficult church environment, external threats, or the weight of lost souls. That burden is always more bearable when the pastor has faithful fellow servants of the Gospel with whom he can share the load.  

This blog includes the intro and conclusion to my pastoral ministry research project. The middle 25 pages is “academic” writing 🙂 that explored Paul’s ministry relationships found in Colossians 4:7-17. The pastor’s ultimate pastor is the Good Shepherd. A case can also be made for the congregation and deacon body to share the responsiblilty to care for a hurting pastor.

The God of Creation is the God of Our Circumstances

The God of Creation is the God of Our Circumstances

Katie was just over 6 months old when she faced one of the most difficult times of her life. She was having kidney failure and was brought into Dallas Children’s Medical Center for a catheter placement so we could begin peritoneal dialysis. She was very tiny so as the catheter was place in her abdomen it nicked her bowl and she became septic. She quickly became very ill. The medical team recommended that we seriously consider letting her go, because of the many severe medical problems she faced. We were forced to make a difficult decision to discontinue treatment or to take drastic measures to save her life.

Sensing the Lord leading, we felt it wasn’t time to let her go just yet. The doctors intubated her and she was place in the Pediatric ICU. She recovered miraculously and only spent a couple days in ICU. However, the positive news only lasted a few days. She was in a hospital room having regular treatments on her lungs waiting for them to become strong enough for another surgery.

I still remember that afternoon as though it was only a few years ago. The respiratory therapist had just left the room after giving her a CPT treatment and suctioning her lungs. Hearing Katie give a faint cry, I went to her bedside to see her turning blue with her eyes rolling. We yelled down the hall for the nurses and things began to happen very quickly. Our baby was again facing death.

We were ushered out of the room as emergency teams rushed to re-intubate her trying to save her life. As Susan and I sought to comfort one another, I went to the phone to contact my friend Dr. Frankie Rainey who I relied on as my pastor. Dr. Rainey was already out of his office, but Dr. Art Allen took my call. After listening to my story, Dr. Allen promised to relay our prayer request to Dr. Rainey and take it before his church that evening.

Then Dr. Allen asked me a question that has stuck with me for more than 27 years. He simply asked, “How are y’all doing?” I immediately began to reiterate Katie’s dire circumstances, but Dr. Allen stopped me. He said, “You’ve told me about Katie. How are you and Susan?” I paused for a moment, because my focus had been entirely on Katie. As I took inventory of my own condition, I felt a peace come over me. I replied, “Dr. Allen, we are okay. The same God who was in charge last week when we Katie was miraculously healed is in charge today. He’ll take care of us. We are okay. Thanks for asking.”

I learned many valuable lessons the two long months Katie was in the hospital that stay. But none of those lessons had a greater impact than the one I learned that day. The God of creation is the God of our circumstances. He never changes. He is faithful, trustworthy, and true. The God who created the sea is still God when the storms rage and the seas of life get rough.

As they were sailing He fell asleep. Then a fierce windstorm came down on the lake; they were being swamped and were in danger. They came and woke Him up, saying, “Master, Master, we’re going to die!” Then He got up and rebuked the wind and the raging waves. So they ceased, and there was a calm. He said to them, “Where is your faith?” 

They were fearful and amazed, asking one another, “Who can this be? He commands even the winds and the waves, and they obey Him!” 

-Luke 8:23-25 CSB